SOMETHING-SOMETHING AMPHETAMINE YEAH

I remember vividly the first time I did stimulants. The capsules were white, labeled ALZA 36. It was ADHD-drug called Concerta containing 36mgs of methylphenidate. I was told to chew that hard capsule before swallowing it. That’s how the drug would be delivered faster on my bloodstream. Euphoric feeling would wash over me and I didn’t need any connection anymore because I was connected to the MAIN SOURCE. Dopaminergic overdrive diminishing the hierarchy of all other needs. Stimulants were more like a solution than the patriotic dissolvement with booze and cartoon-printed-band aid functionality of opioid painkillers.

Amphetamines brought about the sharp edges of my personality. There was purpose and meaning right there delivered on the go! Every individual has a shadow. The things you don’t want to aknowledge about yourself. Fears. Insecurities. Denied. Subconcious. After getting addicted to drugs, I now know my true shadow self. That guy is pretty nasty one to confront. When I faced my sick alternative, it lost its power over my superego, the part of me that is in charge of mainly my moral decisions and choosing the right one from good bad and the ugly. Ugly is ugly for a reason and bad is also called bad for a reason. The is no glory in being a tweaker. And there is no glory in choosing the wrong path. But that shadow is now accepted, I know who he is. I wish him all the best because he is miserable as fuck.